We are Doomed.
This was written in April 2010. With all the talks of the world ending on Dec. 21st, it seemed appropriate. Adult language advisory.
I have come to the conclusion our society is doomed. It came while listening to the radio. The song starts out innocently enough. “Yes, I can see her. Cause every girl in here wana be her. Oh she’s a diva. I feel the same, I want to meet her.”
Ok, boy sees girl and is entranced. Maybe not the most eloquent way of putting it, but the sentiment is there. It goes on with some colloquialism that I don’t quite understand. Hey, it’s catchy.
And then, “She’s nothing you’ve ever seen before. Nothing like your neighborhood hoe.” This is even less eloquent, but at least an attempt at a compliment.
“The way her booty movin’ I can’t take no more. Have to drop what I’m doin’ so I can pull up close. I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl
without being disrespectful.”
So, in essence it’s the same as when the Beatles sang, “Something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover.” A little less poetic but hey the next part has to be good. He said he doesn’t want to be disrespectful.
“Damn, You’s a sexy bitch, a Sexy bitch.”
WHAT!?!?!?! In what ass backward world of courtship is that not disrespectful? Can you really see a girl hanging out with her friends at the club saying, “OMG!!! You guys, he said I was a sexy bitch. He is such a sweetheart.” Insert caterwauls of vapid glee from the pack of bleached blond hyenas.
That’s the type of guy you want to take home to mom. The only woman that I know that would be flattered by being called a sexy bitch is the neighborhood hoe. We are doomed.
At the turn of the 20th century asking a woman to dance and courting her was a huge ordeal. It involved proper etiquette, rules, and treating a woman like a woman. Chivalry was the expected standard. Now, we just roll up on a girl grab by the waist and commence dry humping. I can just see the late Steve Irwin analyzing us.
“Oiy, watch as the male of the species stalks his mate. He slowly prowls behind her admiring her rhythmic movements. He is enticed. Oh, there he goes grasping the female. Watch as they mimic
intercourse. The male has given her the greatest compliment, calling her a “sexy bitch.” She is pleased. After a few drinks it is off to the male’s nest adorned with empty beer cans, stolen street signs, and dirty clothes. Procreation can commence.”
Mark the date April 17, 2010 society is doomed.
Jeremy Kowing 